if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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