Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
