Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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