Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.

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(614): View more from Ohio

True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.

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(925): View more from California

his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.

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(515): View more from Iowa

then she stuck her tongue in my ass

(1-515): View more from Iowa

I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes

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(937): View more from Ohio

Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.

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(928): View more from Arizona

Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.

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