thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
