Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I have demons in me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
is it fun? or sober?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
