May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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