I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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