I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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