Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I lost the right to judge tonight
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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