Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
