And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
