Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
