Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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