keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
