My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
