You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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