The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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