she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize