i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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