How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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