My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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