Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
