And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
