somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
