She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize