I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
