Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i believe in u and ur pee
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
