wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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