so that wasnt chicken after all
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
