GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
