Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
