just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
