just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
