im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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