Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
