everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
pop tarts are not kleenex
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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