K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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