I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
