So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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