I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
