Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
