So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
