Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
