Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
