Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
