the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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