Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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