I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize