That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
