you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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