How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
