Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
