are you so shy because you have an std?
what day is it and did you see me today?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
