If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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