big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
