I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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