"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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