He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
false alarm, still single
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
