You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
