margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
